1.

Welcome 2o12

Im in a lot of pain.  Its over. I broke up with him. It hurts a little less everyday but the pain is still there. It hurts most because I live with him. Looking for a new place is not something I want to do. We were willing to become roommates until i leave or find something. Financially it will benefit both of us.  What to do? I just want to leave but I know that's not best because Id be running away and I need to stand on my own. My heart is sad. I feel so alone and afraid. In many ways it is exciting because Im free to do as I please but its hard because I really wanted this to be it for me. Have this part of my life figured out in a way it's definitely liberating but scary because he provided so much comfort for me.

Im moving to NYC in the summer. I do not have that figured out but Im looking forward to that more than anything. I want to enjoy my time left in California but I really cant wait to get back to NYC! I still have to tell my dad and ask my aunt if i could move in with her until i get my shit together! ie: school, job, apt. Thinking about NYC makes me really excited but Im really gonna miss NOR~CAL, for sure!

I feel very impulsive now because of how vulnerable and needy but I must remind myself that this too shall pass and ill over come this sadness and be a better and stronger person because of it or at least thats what I like to tell myself.

Hector is back in my life but we'll see how that goes. positive thoughts. give him the benefit of the doubt.

2012, I do not know what is going to come of you but I truly hope its filled with endless jolly laughter, happiness, deeper friendships, and lasting love.