The Inevitable

I feel horrible, but I know its over.  I feel so disconnected and guilty. I hate myself so much. If he only knew that I dont mean to hurt him and cause him any pain but I have to follow my heart again. She needs things that you cannot provide. Not because you wont but because its not within you.
Im scared of the pain thats going to endure after the big hit. I love you so much and I hope you know that. I tell you that everyday because its true. I want to remind you that I love you so much but Im moving on.
Im sorry David. I have to do whats right within me. Its not fair for you.

This is what sucks about the inevitable break-up because I haven't yet and know I will. Thinking about how disappointed you're going to feel and the pain that I will be causing you.

You have been nothing but beautiful, comforting, unconditional, loving, understanding, respectful to me.

Im so sorry David. Dont Hate Me.

I LOVE YOU.

Cant Shake this Feeling...

How do i begin?

last month I went to Ecstatic Dance on the full moon and whilst there I did a tarot reading. When I went I was feeling really shaky about my relationship. I was even considering moving out but not breaking up.  I got these 3 cards and a wild one,

Past: Celebration
Present: Harmony
Future:Transformation
Wild: Politics

I decided to not move out anymore but now Im feeling even more trapped not by him but by everything around me! I feel this very strong urge to travel than i have ever before.. what do i do? I told myself that once i get my degree then i can travel. Should I wait until then or do it now or during?

I feel as if Im growing distant to my David.  Its not his fault. He's been nothing but wonderful to me.

.......


I feel the transformation.