Cant Shake this Feeling...

How do i begin?

last month I went to Ecstatic Dance on the full moon and whilst there I did a tarot reading. When I went I was feeling really shaky about my relationship. I was even considering moving out but not breaking up.  I got these 3 cards and a wild one,

Past: Celebration
Present: Harmony
Future:Transformation
Wild: Politics

I decided to not move out anymore but now Im feeling even more trapped not by him but by everything around me! I feel this very strong urge to travel than i have ever before.. what do i do? I told myself that once i get my degree then i can travel. Should I wait until then or do it now or during?

I feel as if Im growing distant to my David.  Its not his fault. He's been nothing but wonderful to me.

.......


I feel the transformation.

too many distractions

How do I sum up whats been going on?
lets see:

started school
back in therapy
loving Berkeley more and more errrday!
Terribly homesick (spent a whole day crying)
Throat Chakra and Heart Chackra are doing a lot of healin
Crystal shopping!
awful food habit
work part time
BOBA TEA and Jap Food obsession  (well mainly just eat the same thing but a lot of it)
In dire need of GIRL TIME!
unbelievably distracted. ugh.
got Rook pierced!
tattoo ideas flourishing
hopefully going back to the A for about a week and half. =( I could go longer but my bear isnt coming with me, so i have to cut my trip shorter cause we're planning on driving up the coast..
Ive been on skype so much more seeing family and friends

Went to a Halloween Bday party! David and I were a Mad Men couple. I was a Stepford Wife and he a succesfull Ad man

I sweear he was a lion in a past life

theyre such a hot couple

ahhh.. so handsome

oh god these guys were a friggin blast! 

Bday Boy Jacob!

currently me

my hair with twist out:

my septum piercing and my jade 2g!

maybe not the best picture but it shows!

my hair

ive been really excited with my hair lately! i finished taking the supplements for my hair.  I straightened my hair to see how long it is!.


I started seeing a naturopathic doctor who has me off of sugar , gluten, and dairy for about a month! Its been great because Ive seen how different my body is now compared to 3 weeks ago. Its 3 weeks today that ive been off that stuff. I feel great! my mood is so much better, and i feel alot more confident and slightly sassy! .  I feel like Ive lost some weight, not much but like 3 pounds. It has been nice because ive been able to buy a few things without having to try them on and they fit nicely!~) Ill see the doctor this coming week and we're going to work other things but getting that stuff out of my system first was a must. Ive also noticed how sensitive i am to certain foods since ive been on this elimination diet.  Well. thats all for now.. here's my hair..

Hearts A Lonely Hunter...

So this week was sooo RAD! 

To top off David's SB we went to a party that was thrown by one of our favorite music labels ESL Music.  A new friend I met at work joined us and danced that night away! I was so happy cause she's into very much of the same things that I am into! i really miss having friends. I want to have a lot more friends like April. Where we can listen to reggae and funk music and talk about spirituality. start  up drum circles vibrating off of each other. People like her remind me as to why i wanted to live in the bay area in the first place. Im glad i met her!  

Im starting to like SF after all. Im not sure if i'd want to move to Berkeley just yet.  I know Berkeley would be great too but GOSH the weather has been amazing and just positive vibrations.  For the first time today i truly felt the love from SF!

Therapy is going well. 

I started seeing a naturopathic doctor. She put me on an elimination diet. Im off of sugar, dairy, gluten and bananas for about 3 weeks. Im also doing a skin detox on my own. It feels good to be taking a little control of the things i can and letting go of things i cannot.  

Dave and I went on 3 hr hike a week ago to Mt. Tam

 (sexual energy coming from this tree)

 walking on side of the Mt. Tam

 looking up in..

 this reminds me of a vagina..

????

I like this remix.

David's stressed cant seem to finish his paper.

Im stressed.

getting thru these rainy days together.

Wet and Cold

song of the week.

It's been HELLA raining in SF. I mean like 2 1/2 weeeks straight rain. I dont mind it at all because its nice to see rain. i like the rainy gloomy sweater weather. Ive been doing really well on shopping. I havent spent any on myself. Its been to bills and food. I kinda have to get really serious about saving if i wanna go anywhere this summer especially ATL. I cant wait to go back and VISIT.

So far ive been taking a little more control of myself. Im attempting to read "Thus Spoke Zarathusra".  My knitting has gotten so much better. I was stuck on a specific stitch that I just couldnt get right on my own but my co-worker Lynley helped me figure out what i was doing wrong, so that made my day! (a few days ago).  Ive sold 3 items on ebay only which i guess is good but id rather sell all my stuff so i can get new stuff or save the money. My obsession with my hair is only getting worse.  The multivitamins have helped my hair grow maybe an inch to in and half but i just gotta be patient. Hopefully my hair grows more than a foot this year. Honestly though it just doenst feel like its getting any longer. Gah i want it boob long already! I had a dream the other day that it was boob long and i looked like a mermaid. bahahahahhaa. I did.

My other obsession is MOVING! i really wanna move to Berkeley this summer. We'd save well over $200 a person. I mean my roommate really love SF. He's said this before but i also feel like he would get bored of Berkeley fast. He has to be out and about all the time.  Its funny because ive been watching myself these past few years and notice the older i get the  more reserved ive become. Especially now that i live out on my own. I dont make much use of the city as i thought i would. I dont have much friends out here to do much with besides going out requires $$$ of which i dont have. Id like to go out and do yoga or go see a show or a poetry reading. Berkeley has alot more of that going on ive noticed.  So that said, ALL i do is look for housing on craigslist for Berkeley. Compared to out here Berkeley is so much cheaper and sunnier. =)

with that said. Things im not doing as much anymore : obsessing over my bike; i m just going to do with what i have and fix it how i want it: obsessing over clothes ( just barely)

hopefully we move to brkly this summer and i get a transfer to the brkly store! and go to BCC.

 *sighs*

lo que sera..sera..